Ways Men Lead That Encourage Women, Part 3

“In what ways do men show leadership that encourages you as women?” That was my question to some sisters I interviewed a number of weeks ago. This post picks up where the second one left off, enumerating and reflecting on their responses.

Previously…

1. Initiating Substantial Discussions

2. Making Firm Decisions

3. Owning Up to the Consequences of Our Decisions

4. Correcting When Needed

5. Encouraging Lady-like Behavior

6. Being Consistent

7. Taking Leadership Roles in Ministry

Our sisters would love to see us take leadership roles in ministry. In fact, some would say it's discouraging if only women are working. They feel there’s something missing. That should be both encouraging and challenging for us men. It reminds us that, under God’s wise plan for manhood and womanhood, we really do have something unique to contribute as men.

At the same time, men who own up to their God-assigned roles in the church also protect sisters from two temptations: being prideful about their greater devotion to the ministry, and looking down on men (which will subtly but effectively lead them to despise God’s plan for manhood and womanhood).

8. Being Patient & Concerned

What about when a sister is behaving poorly (for whatever reason), what can guys do that’s helpful. Each of the women I asked gave different answers. Guys, we’re on our own here. Just kidding. The general idea was that they appreciate it when we are patient and show genuine concern for them. Try to find out what’s really bugging them, if you can.

And here’s a special tip from the ladies: start with a kind gesture like food or coffee. Even candy would be better than nothing! (A sister tried this on me once by buying me ice cream before confronting me about something. I appreciated the gesture, but it had less effect on me as it seems to have on them!) But in the absence of any and all comfort items, said one sister, just create an encouraging environment. Ask, listen, and try to remember what they say.

9. Discipling Others

Lastly, it encourages our sisters to see guys leading younger guys in discipleship. It’s great to be consistent in leadership. But it’s even better to develop leadership in others.

Conclusion

Let me end this series with something from Albert Mohler’s book, Conviction to Lead:

The Believers are driven by deep and passionate beliefs. They are heavily invested in knowledge, and they are passionate about truth. They devote themselves to learning truth, teaching truth, and defending truth. They define themselves in terms of what they believe, and they are ready to give their lives for these beliefs.

The problem is, many of them are not ready to lead. They have never thought much about leadership and are afraid that thinking too much about it will turn them into mere pragmatists, which they know they shouldn’t be. They know a great deal and believe a great deal, but they lack the basic equipment for leadership. As one proverbial deacon said of his pastor, “Oh, he knows a lot, but he can’t lead a decent two-car funeral procession.”

Brothers, may this encourage us to grow in our leadership. Not only would it please God, but it would make our sisters in Christ very happy!